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House of Commons

House of Commons

Live news from the chamber

Sketch: Cameron benefits as Miliband falls silent

At 12:19, Ed Miliband would have been feeling rather pleased with himself. His quartet of well-worded questions on executive pay had left the prime minister looking twitchy, while a couple of seemingly compulsory follow-ups on the NHS reforms had his backbenchers chorusing along – "Against the bill!" they chanted unthinkingly – with glee.

Miliband even managed a mention of the "millionaires" in David Cameron's cabinet, un-subtly dog-whistling the class war bugle cry at the same time, with his questions prompting a ruffled David Cameron to throw accusations of "hypocrisy" at the Labour leader and earn a rebuke from the Speaker.

Never one to make life easy on himself, Miliband then did his best to trip himself up by attacking the chancellor for attending the same Davos summit which he had been at. "I don't know what the word is for criticising someone who went to Davos when you went yourself" replied Cameron, nicely turning his ticking off to his own advantage, but it had, all in all, been a very good PMQs for the Labour leader – and that's not something you write very often.

Perhaps inevitably, it didn’t last for long.

First to ride, unwittingly, to Cameron's aid was Tony Blair. Any mention of their former leader's name, let alone when a Tory prime minister is quoting his political philosophy, leaves Labour MPs suffering from a temporary but debilitating case of rabbit-in-the-headlights syndrome. Eds Miliband and Balls shuffled uncomfortably, while behind them all fell silent. The Tories aren't so sure what to do either, appearing far happier booing Blair's well-remunerated post-Commons career than cheering along his musings on how to be a successful political reformer, but as get-out-of-jail cards go this one worked a treat for the PM.

The Blair mantra is a simple one: "You will always find that there will be objections", but if you think your policy is right then "go with it." In other words, you're wrong, and I am right – and as the thought rattled through his brain the PM appeared to re-energise before us as help came from a well-whipped battalion of Tory MPs,

One by one they leapt up like meerkats to pronounce their support for government plans for a benefit cap. David Nuttall, Priti Patel, Nadhim Zahawi, and Marcus Jones will all receive gold stars for their well-rehearsed contributions, with each mention of the benefit cap seeing Ed Miliband's proud posture begin to crumble as the prime minister's inner Flashman went all out for a savaging.

"What we’ve had from the party opposite is a complete silence", Cameron began, prompting the two Eds to wince. "Where's Baldermort?" he continued - the follicular-shy Liam Byrne, Labour's absent welfare spokesman, probably doesn’t encourage his staff to use that nickname. The speaker joined in the wincing – but his silence suggests that cruel mentions of male pattern baldness is acceptable Parliamentary language.

As close as a man can when leaning on a Despatch box, Cameron was strutting. "Let me give them one more go: Are you with us in the lobbies tonight?" he asked, urging Miliband to "nod" if he agreed. "Absolutely hopeless" he snapped back after receiving an unblinking response. This was bullying at its effective best, as Miliband, question-less after using his full six, sat in a neutered silence. "One more go, one little nod, nothing" he went on. A plaintive cry of "what an arrogant man" could be heard from the depths of the Labour benches, but that won't pick that one up on the news bulletins. "They’re not flip-flopping over the benefit cap, they’re just flopping" came the final damning, and soundbite-friendly, put down.

Clinical and cruel. This was not quite back-from-the-dead stuff from the PM, but by the end of his comeback some on the Labour side must have been losing the will to live. Ed Miliband certainly looked like he'd had enough - by now the warm glow of 12:19 was long forgotten.

 Sam Macrory is political editor of The House Magazine

 

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