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Dot Commons

Nick Clegg – the jokes

Nick Clegg – the jokes

Here are Nick Clegg’s best gags from this afternoon’s lobby lunch with Westminster journalists: “My core philosophy is that of the onesie nation.”

“The most bizarre thing I have heard this week is that Simon Burns is related to David Bowie. A multi-millionaire chauffer-driven recluse, with a dated 1980s hairstyle, is related to David Bowie.”

“It is still a very novel thing that the prime minister of the day should be reliant on the votes and support of people who stridently disagree with him and want to see him lose at the next general election. But enough of Peter Bone.”

“One of the biggest fault lines is the vexed issue of Europe and I can announce to you that we have finally reached a compromise on Europe. The Prime Minister will indeed give a major speech on the future of Europe and Britain’s place in it, in the Netherlands. I, as a Dutch speaker, will be at hand to give a translation, from Double Dutch to just Dutch.”