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Tuesday 14th January 2014
The Royal Mint has found itself caught up in the continuing fall-out from a century-old, non-nuclear conflict after it issued a commemorative £2 coin featuring the iconic image of a stern, lavishly moustachioed Lord Kitchener appealing to the patriotic instincts of conscripts potential recruits.
Shadow Culture minister Helen Goodman said that coming on the back of Education Secretary Michael Gove's attack on "left-wing academics" and series like Blackadder for "misrepresenting" the nature of the First World War, the choice of Kitchener suggested the Government was "embarking on an unnecessarily jingoistic approach" to its commemoration of the conflict.
Reports that the inclusion of the image on UK currency is part of a clandestine Treasury plan to boost consumer spending via subliminal messaging remain unconfirmed at this time...
Thursday 9th January 2014
Boris Johnson’s description of Nick Clegg as a David Cameron’s personal “prophylactic protection device” is still causing much amusement across Westminster.
Despite the Deputy Prime Minister’s plea for a truce between himself and the Mayor on this morning’s LBC phone-in, it did not stop Angela Eagle shoe-horning it into the Business Statement for one of the best Commons put-downs in a long time.
“I know I’m not the world’s greatest expert in this area, but I thought you were supposed to be able to trust contraception,” she said.
Thursday 9th January 2014
Never let it be said that Nick Clegg is not generous. Today marks the anniversary of his pulsating Thursday morning LBC phone-in show with Nick Ferrari and to celebrate the occasion the Ferrari proferred this smashing cake, complete with the Clegger in a very fetching onesie.
The Lib Dem leader is clearly ignoring today's dire warnings about sugar as he also gave his co-host a box of Cadbury's Milk Tray.
After he gave his present first, Clegg also felt affronted at the possibility that Ferrari had let the big day slip his mind - "I can't believe you've forgotten, I'm feeling spurned".
On receiving the gift at the end, Clegg was repentent: “This is typical. I give you a box of Milk Tray, bought with great generosity from a petrol station somewhere, and you instead give me a cake making me look like a complete lemon.”
Wednesday 8th January 2014
New year, new priorities, at least for one seaside MP. Portsmouth South's Penny Mordaunt is taking time out to take part in the ITV "hit" show Splash!.
Fair play to Penny, she's not exactly not exactly talking up her chances.
‘I have the elegance and drive of a paving slab, but my navy training has certainly given me the guts to take on the challenge head on," she's told her local paper.
Dot should add that her fee for appearing will go to a local Lido - where presumably Ms Mordaunt will be able to continue practising long after the cameras have stopped rolling.
Tuesday 7th January 2014
Sherlock’s perceived mockery of Boris Johnson has led the Mayor to float his own hypothesis about the real target of the gag.
Reviving his own Professor Moriarty from the political past, Boris suggested that the show may have been describing Ken Livingstone as the “dithering, incoherent, and self-interested” purveyor of a “hare-brained scheme involved chartering disused boats, paying for their conversion into a version of London's famous bus, the Routemaster” after the “recently-mocked concept of putting an airport in the middle of the estuary”.
“I don’t rule out the possibility, by the way, that this is an attack on the previous mayor,” an extremely optimistic Boris told LBC listeners.
His second explanation rang slightly truer: “They’re entitled to spend taxpayers’ money attacking Conservative politicians – that’s what they do, that’s their raison d’etre and I don’t in any way want to discourage them.”