Michael Gove's Arsenal dream team

Posted On: 
26th April 2016

Caroline Dinenage, Andrew Selous and Shailesh Vara = Mesut Ozil, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Mikel Arteta. Apparently. 

Michael Gove takes Justice Questions in the House of Commons.
Credit: 
Parliament TV

If you’ve started wondering which government departments correspond to which football team, you’ve probably been watching Parliament too closely. 

But Michael Gove answered the question that nobody was asking today after Speaker Bercow mocked the Justice Secretary for sitting too far away from his ministerial team at the beginning of Justice Questions:  

“I’m very disappointed that the Secretary of State isn’t sitting at the very heart of his ministerial team. I hope the Hon Gentleman isn’t lurking uncharacteristically in the shadows. We wouldn’t want that,” said Bercow.

Gove revealed that he saw himself as no more than a substitute.

“Thank you very much, Mr Speaker, for your tender solicitude earlier but as you can see I have an amazingly talented team of ministers.

"They are the equivalent of the Arteta, the Oxlade-Chamberlain and the Ozil of this Parliament and therefore for that reason I’m very happy to be on the subs’ bench for most of the time.”

If that was too much fun and games for the Commons, don’t worry. Gove seamlessly brought it back to business with his next line:

“I’m also very happy that you’ve allowed me to group this question with number 17.”

Smooth.

We’ll leave you to guess who of Caroline Dinenage, Andrew Selous and Shailesh Vara Michael Gove considers the wizardly PFA player of the year nominee, who is the ageing playmaker, and who is the versatile one-time great hope of England’s football team that has rather disappointed with their progress.

However, Dot is a little confused as to why the minister likened his colleagues to Arsenal players. After all, isn't he meant to be a QPR fan?