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Fri, 29 March 2024

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Mrs Crackenthorpe's Diary

2 min read

Ahead of a long and admittedly boozy break celebrating 70 years of her maj on the throne, Mrs C is more than ready to feel rested, rejuvenated, and prepared for Westminster to spring back into action come Monday. Four days away from the estate will no doubt leave me yearning for updated news of snitching and sniping among our nation’s great leaders. Thankfully, ahead of the break, my informants have not disappointed. Of the details I can share, and it is with the heaviest of hearts I inform you there is so much I cannot, here’s what’s perked my interest on return to SW1…

Mrs C hears campaigning on the DL for a shot at the Labour leadership is heating up in oppositionland. Runners and riders are said to be making their moves, with covert campaigns building some momentum. Those thought to be gunning to replace the Beerman – should he be forced to fall on his poppadom – include Wes Streeting (obvs), Lisa Nandy, David Lammy and Yvette Cooper. Mrs C hears Rachel Reeves and Bridget Philipson are more coy about stepping forward. However, party overlords are desperate for a woman to take the top spot. Asked if Cooper could be the one to reach the historic milestone, an insider tells Mrs C: “Yeees, if she can develop a personality…”

With partygate back in the headlines, much discussion in SW1 has turned to productivity and priorities in the workplace. The public expects nothing less from their leaders than well-informed and thoroughly considered decision-making. Mrs C is therefore delighted that one Labour MP has been using her precious time to see a spiritualist for counsel, not once but twice a week. For some reason, however, she labels these check-ins with her spirit guide as the rather more temporal “hairdresser” in the diary.

There is no beef – Hereford, Angus, you name it – quite as delicious as Westminster Lobby beef. And my oh my, was Twitter ever recently treated to a whole roast dinner of it. As the morning newsletter wars heat up, Mrs C delighted in a fiery exchange between Times Radio presenter and former Red Box editor Matt Chorley and Playbook supremo Alex Wickham. The former appeared, zut alors, to be accusing the latter – who happens to be bezzie mates with Carrie J – of being too close to No 10. The most formidable godfather (to Wilf J, apparently) since Brando then accused the former – who has, bafflingly, shall we say struggled somewhat to break into the world of comedy – of being a teeny bit of a fame whore. Mrs C’s hot take is that the only newsletter in town really worth signing up to is that of The House magazine. You can subscribe via our website. 

MrsCrackenthorpe@protonmail.com

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Read the most recent article written by Mrs Crackenthorpe - Mrs Crackenthorpe's Diary - 15 April

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