Too many men still don’t seek help with their mental health – we must break the silence
4 min read
Last November, my team and I lost a much-valued colleague to suicide. It is hard to capture the shock, the sense of absence, and the unanswered questions that follow.
Someone who had been part of our daily lives – present, committed and deeply appreciated – was suddenly gone. Like so many families, friends and colleagues across the country, we were left asking what more might have been seen, said or done.
That experience brought home to me, more clearly than ever, that although awareness has improved, too many men are still being left behind. Mental Health Awareness Week rightly invites us to pause and reflect. But if it is to mean anything, it must also prompt us to act.
Suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK. Behind that stark statistic are individual tragedies – lives cut short, families changed forever, and communities left to carry the weight of loss. Yet too often, our national conversation stops at awareness, important though it is, without translating into the sustained, systemic changes we know are needed.
Part of the challenge is that many men still do not seek help. Cultural expectations – stoicism, self-reliance, the instinct to “just get on with it” – continue to shape behaviour. For some, opening up feels like weakness rather than strength. Silence becomes the default. And in that silence, problems can deepen.
This is not simply about individual choices. It is a wider societal challenge, and it calls for a broader response.
We need to bring support closer to where people already are: in workplaces, sports clubs, community groups, and on our local high streets. Employers, in particular, have an important role to play. Creating an environment where mental health can be discussed openly, training managers to recognise when someone is struggling, and ensuring people know where to turn for help should be seen as part of good leadership, not an optional extra.
At the same time, community organisations remain one of our greatest strengths. Charities such as Samaritans and Campaign Against Living Miserably already do extraordinary work, often reaching individuals who would never engage with formal services. They offer something different: a sense of understanding and immediacy at the moment it is most needed.
However, many of these organisations are operating under constant financial pressure. If we are serious about prevention, we cannot rely on them as a safety net without properly supporting them.
Cultural expectations – stoicism, self-reliance, the instinct to “just get on with it” – continue to shape behaviour
We must also look at access to care. Too many people encounter long waits, fragmented services, or thresholds for support that are simply too high. Early intervention is not only better for individuals; it is more effective for the system as a whole. That means investing in local services, improving co-ordination, and ensuring that those in crisis can access help quickly and without stigma.
We should also recognise the importance of purpose and connection. Good work, strong relationships and a sense of belonging all play a vital role in mental wellbeing. Policies that support stable opportunity, skills and community life are not separate from mental health – they are central to it.
This is not about diminishing resilience; it is about broadening it – recognising that real strength includes the courage to talk and to seek help.
There is no single solution. But there is a clear direction of travel: earlier support, stronger communities, better access to care, and a culture that makes it easier for men to be heard.
For those of us in public life, this is not an abstract issue. It is present in our constituencies, in our workplaces, and, as I know all too well, sometimes in our own teams.
Mental Health Awareness Week should not be the end of the conversation. It should be the moment we turn reflection into action – so that fewer families, colleagues and communities are forced to experience the loss that far too many already have had to face.
Neil Shastri-Hurst is the Conservative MP for Solihull West and Shirley
